Hey y’all and happy Friday! Today’s post is very personal. A little over six years ago, I endured the worst heartbreak of my life. I’ve been wanting to share this experience, lessons I learned, and how God brought me through it for awhile. But I just hadn’t carved out the time to sit down and attempt to adequately convey my thoughts in words. However, one of my blogger friends, Brita from Belle Brita blog, reached out to me and encouraged me to participate in a February Love Blog Challenge she is hosting. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do all the prompts. (Fun fact- Brita is a fellow Furman alum, and I actually knew her while I was at Furman. It’s been fun to connect with her in the blogosphere years later! She shares my love of Disney and all things pink too.) Anyways, when I saw that the prompt for February 22 was “heartache” I knew now was the time! I’ve split this post into two parts. First I’m going to share a brief background of the situation. Then I’m going to share a letter that I wrote to my late 2012 heartbroken self, knowing what I know now. Here we go!
A Little Background
I didn’t date this particular guy for long at all. But the way God suddenly and unexpectedly brought him into my path that October night, and the way we seemed to hit it off seamlessly made it seem like things were meant to be. Our first date lasted four hours, and our second date was just 24 hours later. Needless to say, I fell for him hard and fast. We had so much in common and it seemed like God had made us for each other. Already in my late 20’s at the time, I thought that perhaps my long wait for a Godly guy to share my life and build a family with was finally over.
Then, one November night, things abruptly ended almost as quickly as they began. Out of the blue, he called me and said he wasn’t in a good place to seriously date and needed to end things between us. I asked him if there was someone else, and he assured me there wasn’t. He said that it wasn’t me, it was him.
My heart literally felt like it had been torn out my chest and smashed into a million pieces. I felt like it was the end of the world, and my depression burst forth with a vengeance. Nothing made sense to me, and I remained angry at God and full of bitterness for months. Why would God bring something so good into my life, only to dangle it in my face and then snatch it away?
My biggest prayer over the next several months was that this guy would realize that he had made a mistake. I dreamed that he would come running back to me, proclaiming that we were meant to be together. However, this dream never came true, and I couldn’t be happier. Here’s why:
Letter to a Heartbroken Girl
Dear Heartbroken Girl,
I know you feel like your world is crashing down around you right now, and all you can see is a tunnel of darkness. I know you feel like you will never be happy again unless the guy you lost comes running back to you, or if you find someone new who will make you feel even better than he ever did. And I know that you miss the feeling of being wanted, pursued, and treated like a princess. Your feelings are valid, and you have the freedom to feel them and to mourn this loss. And you also have the freedom to want what you want, including a godly guy to share your life and build a family with.
However, I want you to know that you WILL be happy again. Not only will you be happy again, but you will be so without this guy coming back into your life, and also without any better guy coming into your life to replace him. And you won’t simply be happy again, but you will be filled with great joy that comes from growing deeper in your relationship with Jesus, the One who desperately wants you and constantly pursues you in a way that NO earthly man can. In fact, it’s only because of His love for us first that we even have the capacity to love another.
Sure you will have some hard days where the ache of wanting a godly husband and family is downright overwhelming. But when those days come, you will have godly friends who will continually point you back to the Cross and the only One who can love you perfectly. And you will come to realize more and more that being single for way longer than you ever expected is way better than being with the wrong person just so you can fulfill a desire and check something off your bucket list.
Also, you are going to get to do some really cool things over the next six years that wouldn’t be possible if you had gotten married to this guy who just broke your heart, or any other guy:
- You’re going to strengthen your relationships and make some amazing memories with existing friends.
- You’re going to take the trip of a lifetime to Disney World with your bestie.
- You’re going to meet and make memories with some amazing new friends.
- You’re going to discover that Clemson football is one of the greatest things this side of eternity.
- You’re going to start a blog and further realize your passion for fashion and gifts of writing and creativity.
- You’re going to have the opportunity to do some hard and deep-reaching, but very rewarding work with the most amazing therapist. This will help you grow a greater sense of self-awareness and become the most emotionally healthy you’ve ever been, even while living with chronic clinical anxiety.
- You’re going develop a greater sense of who you are and what you want, but most importantly who God has made you to be and what you desire to do that will glorify Him.
- You’re going to become more confident and grounded in your identity in Jesus and your relationship with Him.
It may be so hard to see this now, but one day you are going to look back and be so glad that things didn’t work out with this guy who just broke your heart. Your very wise mentor just told you that you weren’t just going to be okay, you were going to be more than okay. It’s so hard for you to believe her right now, but she’s so right. Also, Garth Brooks would say “some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” He’s right too. And you will come to resonate with the following hidden message inside one of Taylor Swift’s 1989 album cover:
“She lost him but she found herself and somehow that was everything.”
Sweet heartbroken girl, God’s got you, and the best is yet to come.
” Better than Okay” 2019 Liz
Wow, this just might be one of the most vulnerable things I have published here on Palmettos & Pineapples. But if God can use my experience with overcoming heartache to encourage just one person, it’s so worth opening up and sharing. If you’re going through a hard break-up right now, I want to encourage you that God sees the whole picture. Human perspective is often so limited. My heartbroken 2012 self had no idea that not only was this particular guy not God’s best for me, but I still had a lot of growing and life to experience before He brought me someone to share my life with. And the fact that I can have this renewed outlook while still being single is nothing but pure evidence of God at work in my life over these past six years.
Thanks so much for reading! If something from this post particularly spoke to you or encouraged you, I’d love to hear it.
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